“Back then I had a dream, let’s get this money, man”

Let’s talk about one of my favorite subjects, money. I don’t want a lot of it, mind you. Just being able to pay the bills and buy some clearance plants is fine with me. My childhood was so wild and unstable, that any form of financial security is enough. My wife and I both grew up in different but similar situations, leading to us becoming a pair that is happy with very little.

I’m not rejecting materialism, mind you. I own hundreds of video games from the Atari 2600 To the PlayStation 2. Who am I? I am not rejecting anything, I am merely pro contentment. A state that is unique to each of us. We can’t really judge each other when we each have individual wants.

This story, like many of mine, starts with a familiar loss. This story isn’t about that, though. The event is merely a starting point.

When my parents passed away, they had some stuff. Nothing crazy, but a few things. My dad had a 1989 Harley-Davidson Softail Springer that was in immaculate condition. We had a modest house 10 minutes from a state college tucked away from the road, and an above ground pool. Not too bad, and it split up nicely between me and my half-brothers. At least I would be able to get by.

That is until my brother Russ did some Russing. His scumbag side of the family literally disassembled and took the pool. Russ owed them bail money for a coke bust in New Jersey. The best time of my life was when I was alone at our house for days on end due to his stupidity, but that’s another story for another time.

So, yeah. Russ ‘hired’ these people to help shepherd our estate in some abstract way. They repaid us by forcing my brother to sell our childhood home. That was after we were stripped clean of anything of value. These vultures stole a fucking dry sink my Dad’s uncle made. Our estate was billed thousands upon thousands of dollars and Russ is such a subservient worm that he rolled over and let it happen. It worked out great for him. Last I heard he was in Cocoa Beach, a hell of a town.

While I am here, blazed as fuck and now fuming, allow me to run down Russell’s family for a moment. Why not?

The main culprit was married to some goofy software engineer in the 90’s that looked like Dave from Dave’s Soda and Pet Food City. He made obscene money at the time. He also had a computer, which might as well have been a space ship to me. Even so, she and Dave made sure to pick the bones until nothing was left of what my parents left behind. In the process, a 16-year-old boy was thrown into life. Nobody bothered to plan for my future. I was a burden to my own brother and his entire family. They made that clear. At least everybody got to wet their beak, I guess. When I was no longer of use to these people… you can imagine.

She is also one of those fucking assholes that will volunteer for a day and talk about it for two months. She should try cleaning fridges at the survival center and not announcing it to the World, but I digress.

Let this be a lesson to anybody reading this. People will rip each other apart for a dead person’s money and possessions. It is fucking disgusting.

Man, that felt good. It felt right.

“When I first made 40 grand, thought I was the shit”

The good news. I was left with $40,000 that I would have access to at 21. Big $$$ if you are smart with it. I was not smart with it. This is one of my greatest regrets. Mismanaging this money is one of my top five fuck-ups, no doubt. I should’ve bought a new trailer in the Northern New England pine forests to begin my seclusion.

I did do a couple of smart things, however. I bought a nice little Honda for $6,500 which I drove for many years, and a computer that lasted me forever. I also sunk some money into my trailer, and back paid overdue bills. Freedom from the shackles of debt was finally mine after swimming with my head just above water for the last five years thanks to Russ and his family’s charity.

“When I first made 40 grand, couldn’t tell me nothing”

I should’ve been better with the money, but I didn’t use it exclusively to finance stupidity. I brought the homies on vacations and we were out all the time. I covered one kids CDL training even. I gave so much, because that’s what you do for your friends, right?

“A couple grand got you feeling the man, everybody standing tall ‘till they slip”

Life was an early 2000s rap video for a while, until it wasn’t. I was going out too much, throwing money around like an idiot, and then I ran out. Nothing feels worse than being so naive that you think a massive group of people around you are real relationships, only to find out that you are stupid. Needless to say, my Wife is the only person since who has earned my trust, and cracking that shell took her far longer than it should have. I am so lucky that she’s patient.

Nobody is going to look out for you except for you in most cases. Eventually, like myself, you may find a true partner, but it’s harder than you think. When money gets involved, everybody’s got you but once that faucet stops, you’re a ghost.

I know I am not necessarily the most likable guy, but fuck, man.

Anyway, I humbly returned to poverty, where 20 years of self pity embraced me. If you follow me though, you know this has a happy ending. I met my wife and worked while she went to school. She then took over the $$$ while I went to school. We wandered America and I found myself somewhere between the Mojave and Monument Valley.

Together, we are finding contentment, and it feels so good.

Hugs and Drugs,

JTC