I have come up with a slogan for this year: “The season of doing”. What is the season of doing, you ask? Oh, buddy. I’ll explain it in a second. First, though, some thoughts.

As I have previously mentioned, I am currently in my Senior year, and at this time, I am rapidly approaching finals week. I was exceptionally depressed this semester, but I managed to keep my shit together, and my grades are absolutely fantastic. When I say depressed, I don’t mean conventionally sad. We are talking waking up and feeling like every movement, along with every thought, is too heavy. 

The problem when I’m like this is that I simply cannot focus. I’ll wake up feeling good, and by the time I’m brushing my teeth, I’m reminding myself of every task that needs to be done around my house at once, along with all the schoolwork I should be doing 24/7. This leads to a weird stasis, where I worry about everything but can focus on nothing. I can’t even play video games when I am like this. It fucking sucks.

Even so, the season of doing has been in full effect. More on that in a moment

I haven’t been writing as much as I usually do lately. I have a couple of short stories that I am going to submit to literary mags/websites, and I think they are pretty good, but that was the last thing I worked on. I’m also too chicken shit to send them in. As for my other projects, it has recently come to my attention that I have stuff across 3 computers and 2 external hard drives, from ideas to completed writings. I really need to get organized and see what I have. 

Honestly, it was writing a research paper for my sociology of aging course that lit the fire to start writing again. It was like putting a brush into a painter’s hand. Once I began, I couldn’t stop. I enjoy writing technically because I find it extremely challenging. As such, I think research papers go hard AF.

On-time research papers are only one aspect of the season of doing. I have a remodeled master bedroom, a clean and organized spare room with space for a giant game table, a cleaned up and moved-around office, and gaming spot, screen doors… all sorts of shit. I did that. I’m not done either.

My wife’s small business has exploded to the point where we have employees now, which is absolutely batshit to me. Due to this rapid growth, she is working a lot of hours. This means I hold down the fort more often than not. Sitting around like a lump of shit can breed resentment in such a situation, but as I’ve learned, productivity can be rewarding.

Once I finished our bedroom and saw my wife’s reaction, I realized she hadn’t had very much in her life up to this point, including a space that is uniquely hers. I have also learned that if she wants something and I make it materialize, she thinks I am a way better husband than I actually am. 

So the season of doing is not just for me, but for both of us. I planted a magnolia tree for my wife, and she got emotional about finally being home. Concord grapes, hydrangeas, climbing roses, a pair of maples, a forsythia (which I love pruning every year!), and now a magnolia, things are coming together. I also installed a new fence, so our white trash aesthetic is almost gone. It is getting pretty crazy over here.

Anyway, I stopped talking and started doing. I would recommend it.

Let’s gooooo,

JTC