It’s 1 am, and as a writer who doesn’t write, this is around the time that I tend to listen to later Mac Miller and stare off into space, mindlessly scrolling online until I accidentally see something horrifying on Reuters or whatever; blazed out of my mind.

“I should write,” I think to myself during this nightly ritual as my little personal webpage begins to collect cobwebs.

I need to sign up for classes as well, but the C I got in one course shook me to my core. Maybe I lack self-confidence. All I know is that I have one year left, and I am frozen with anxiety. I need to snap out of it too or I’ll end up in shitty classes that don’t interest me.

Truthfully, I’ve also been busy, and it is easy to get lost in my work. You see, I have a new job! I am the Office and Social Media Manager for my wife’s rapidly growing business. I’ve previously written about her rise from the ashes, but to sum it up, she told the daily grind to go fuck itself and went her own way. So sexy.

This is where I come in. My wife’s business has completely exploded. We have dates on our calendars with 5 or 6 clients, we have new clientele coming in hot, and that means paperwork. So much paperwork. We have invoices and service contracts and all this fancy stuff that my wife has me scan and send out to people; it’s all so very official.

I also get my writing published via blogs on her website. It is great practice for writing in somebody else’s extremely positive voice, and it never hurts to have writing out there. I honestly enjoy writing in such a cheery tone, even though that isn’t me, and my wife and I both get a kick out of it. Maybe I’ll get a job writing a blog for some unknown website like frndlytv.

So, basically, she’s the face, and I am the man behind the curtain. I even have a fancy business email. All of this was so sudden, but it has been nice, and working from home is absolutely incredible. I’ll really be able to buckle down and avoid another C, assuming I don’t quit school over the previous one.

My wife would call me dramatic right about now, and she would be right, but my anxiety has me in a headlock.

It’s interesting to be the other person in a marriage. When we are kids, we all imagine ourselves making it. I wanted to be a veterinarian when I was a child, then a lawyer, historian, author, and archivist. Instead, I’m a 40-year-old college student, and my wife is stacking all the bread. I have no problem with my wife being the breadwinner; it just wasn’t in the plans. It’s a nice bonus, though!

I never thought I would marry anybody until I met my wife. One of the main reasons that I married her was because of how impressed I am with her drive. Still, even if it was inevitable, seeing somebody becoming successful in real time is surreal, especially when we both grew up without much.

I’m so proud of her, and all those dreams I had as a child don’t seem necessary anymore. It takes a little bit to let go and have somebody steer the boat for you, especially when you were orphaned in your teens like I was, but I am glad to have a co-pilot. Trusting somebody and knowing somebody trusts me beats any New York Times bestseller list, that’s for sure. Furthermore, seeing my wife crush life is a daily reminder that it isn’t too late for any of us.

Don’t believe me, let’s ask Ralph!

I am in school for Literature, so instead of talking about weed, Ativan, and growing up as a hick, I am going to drop this excerpt from Ralph Waldo Emerson’s essay “Self-Reliance”.

“If our young men miscarry in their first enterprises, they lose all heart. If the young merchant fails, men say he is ruined. If the finest genius studies at one of our colleges, and is not installed in an office within one year afterwards in the cities or suburbs of Boston or New York, it seems to his friends and to himself that he is right in being disheartened, and in complaining the rest of his life.”

Ralph is the shit, and he hits the nail on the head here. I think everybody who has ever stumbled coming out of the blocks should read this. The first time I read Self-Reliance, it was a transformative experience. It’s amazing.

This got long and weird, but I feel good! Now I have to go back to writing peppy blogs and happy emails for my wife’s many clients. I will definitely be knocking the dust off of this blog, so stay tuned.

Stay crescent fresh,

Tommy