The first time I cued up Kendrick Lamar’s GNX I was already looking at the cover with dread. Kendrick wants a Black Grand National, and now so does everybody else, which means I won’t be getting one any time soon.

Kendrick mentioning the Buick Grand National is like when the Angry Video Game Nerd reviewed a game in the mid-2000s. The price of whatever game he reviewed would spike astronomically, making such hits as Action 52 or Little Red Hood too expensive for the average retro gamer.

Honestly, the price of old games is only going up even still and collectors are sitting on absolute treasure troves. Thankfully, my wife will be building me a tomb out of NES cartridges and burying me with all of my things when I die.

She always tells me she’s going to sell everything and “enjoy herself instead of being sad”, but I know she’s only joking.

Back to my love for GNXs. My first car was a 1986 Buick Regal that I paid $500 for. As anybody who owned one of these bad boys will tell you, the Grand National was like the Regal cranked up to 11. Any Regal lover covets a Grand National.

Between Jay Rock mentioning Buick Regals and Kendrick Lamar mentioning Grand Nationals, Top Dawg Entertainment has completely destroyed the market for these couches on wheels, much to my dismay.

My Regal, for those wondering, had the 307 V8, it was the most amazing color of green, and had bench seats. The dude I bought it off even installed somewhat useless fog lights.

You could sleep in it, and as I soon found out, living in an old mill town where people struggle for reliable transportation, you could also pack the homies in it like a clown car. Being a taxi was nice, I felt popular for the first time ever, and the kids I was rolling around with were wonderful people.

As for Kendrick’s album? It’s amazing, but Good Kid M.A.A.D. City is still my all-time favorite studio album that he’s done.

Until next time, stay crescent fresh

J. Thomas Cassidy